My Story

how do i help my 5 year old his dad and myself

Written by rowie52

Firstly i have no idea where to start.. So i guess some backgroung info would be good and then i will explain my concerns. His Dad and I have been seperated for 4 years. He has a rare hereditory gene in the family which can hit the men in there early 40s He was 42 when diagnosed with alzheimers. Even though we are seperated I have always included him in birthdays and christmas. I have until recently had him at my house every other week to spend time with his son.. I give him jobs around the house to keep him occupied as i read that keeping there mind active is good for them. He is no longer alowed to drive. To meet this man for the first time you would think that there is nothing wrong with him.

THE FAMILY.... They have already lost 2 brothers to the disease and there mother.. They have made it quite clear to me that anything to do with his care and wellbeing is none of my business... they also beleive that part of his wellbeing is to have his son involved in his life which at first i thought it was a good idea. When he goes into full time care it will be in anothe state.. They beleive it is also good for our son to be with his dad and watch him grow with this disease until the end. Its supposed to help him deal with his fathers disease and passing over in the end i suppose but here is my question and im quite torn as to which way to go.

Do i allow our son to visit every school holidays and watch his dad regress more with each visit, remembering that maybe he will be 15 when his father passes over maybe 10 or 12 who knows . Now if i allow this to happen will he live a life like his father in having all his affairs in order just incase he gets the disease.. I dont want my son to live his life in a maybe i will get the disease too and canstantly have that in the back of his mind for all his life as his father has done. Or when the family take hime away do i just stop all contact for the wellbeing of our son. I am torn as to which direction to take.. If i stop all contact it will undoubtably accelerate the disease by stressing him ..but as the family say his well being is not my business . So i need to think of what is best for our son and right now im not sure as to what would be best for him and im looking for some help..

well i hpe i have written this in the right part of this site to get some help im new here .. Looking forward to hearing some of your opinions