Mailbox Response

The question was submitted Sunday, 17 May 2009

Subject: end dementia

i have cared for my mum of 91 years of age for ten years but i still dont know what to expect in the last weeks of dementia the imformation i get from the net sometimes is very limited .mum wanted to spend the rest of her life at home so i have respected that wish but im a little scared of what lays ahead of me .and to know more would help to prepare me for whats ahead .thank you

Answer from DementiaNet

Assuming that your Mum has dementia due to Alzheimer’s disease, the late stages of the disease is characterised by progressive loss of function, including inability to swallow, incontinence, confinement to bed and need for total care. If you are planning to care for Mum at home until the end then you will need a lot of help. She will need feeding, pressure care, changing of nappies, washing and oral hygiene. Usually this type of intensive nursing care is impossible at home. Hence, the government funds nursing homes. It is understandable that you wish to respect Mum’s wish to stay at home. But you need to consider at what cost to your own health this will bring. Do you think that your Mum would have wanted you to care for her to the detriment of your well being? Mum will be better off in a nursing home where carers are professionally trained. At that stage of dementia she will not be aware of where she is.

The answer was published on DementiaNet Friday, 22 May 2009