called the ambulance at 3am
A page in the diary "Sue's thoughts on life"
Written by suew Saturday, 30 January 2010 16:43
It is 3am,there is a thud and a groan, I jumped out of bed and turned on the light. Ray is not in his bed he is down on the floor, groaning.
A pungent smell lets me know he has messed himself again. I guess that was his reason for rising in the dark, without the light on. Why does he do this? I always think: "Not again!"
I ask him if he needs a pillow or a rug? He says his left leg hurts just below the hip so I make the call.
Which service? Ambulance please. My man is down on his back, gazing at the ceiling.
Two ambos arrive ten minutes later. They take his Blood pressure and pulse. He is not groaning now and says he is okay. He seems okay. They ask about his general health, previous damage when I tell them Ray's had strokes.
Can he get up? It seems so. They instruct me:Turn on the shower ma’am. So I peel off the filthy pad and garments and scrub him down under a warm shower.
It is 4am and now all paperwork done, Ray is back in bed,still awake but I know he will sleep soon. But I won’t. There is plenty to do,clean the carpets, throw out the mess (some things are not worth saving) disinfect and hose down the shower area. I'll try to get the carpet stain out, if Idon't Trev should be able to.
I turn off the outside lights and stay on the verandah
crying in the dark. What to do now? As usual I mourn for the past and for the present. I'll have a hot cup of tea. And in the silence do nothing, there is nothing left to do.
It is approaching 5am. Tomorrow is today already. I can hear soft traffic noises, rain on the roof, the bark of a dog, Mitzi next door, I had to scold her when she tried to chase the ambulance.
It is Saturday and soon the sun will be rising. I need to go to bed. What for? A few more hours sleep? Soon it will be 7am. time to get up and start again. There is nothing to do but accept every day.
29th January was a night in hell. But today it is business as usual. Not just for me but for any carer.