noticeable changes
A page in the diary "Sue's thoughts on life"
Written by suew Thursday, 17 September 2009 17:12
We have just had a visit from our daughter and her husband and family. They noticed some changes in Ray even since our visit to them in Cairns in July. Ray has had a UTI and is still on tablets for that but I don't think that explains why he has changed so much. He is walking with a lurch and I have saved him from falling a few times in the past few days. I feel it is only a matter of time before I am not close enough to catch him and he falls and hurts himself.
I am trying a respite cottage for people with mild to moderate dementia that is only funded for short term stays. He will be there over the weekend as it is a learning weekend for my study course and I will be away Friday and Saturday night. If it works out okay I will use it again. A cottage for six respite people as maximum sounds better than a hostel for 40 people but much depends on the staff as we all know.
My daughter visited Mum with me on Tuesday and cried for most of the visit. I have told her Mum is slowly deteriorating but seeing her close up maybe made her realise this time next year Gran will be gone. But there is nothing any of us can do about it is there? Mum sleeps a lot now but she IS 91! She rarely gets out of her chair unless helped up by the staff and although she does walk has a "bandy legged" gait since the hip operation in June. But she is still eating well and sleeping well. I am just happy to see her still here.
Ray has increasing problems with his bladder now, very wet "pull-up" in the morning although he has used the urinal through the night and most days has at least one change of clothes. I am trying to get some cheaper pads but three a day is costing me about $30 a week, so it needs to be soon! I can cope with him being wet but wet sheets, underblanket, covers etc makes me feel that I can't do this forever.
Yesterday we went to a large local park with the family. Just after lunch Ray wanted to go to the toilet and as it was a short distance I let him go on his own propelling the wheelchair with one foot. I knew there was a disabled tiolet there so he would have plenty of room. My son-in-law went to check, he was in the mens tiolet and a real mess. I had to kneel on a dirty floor and clean him up. What a horrible job in a filthy public tiolet.
Rays diabetes is not under control now he is on the lighter dose of Metformin. We go to the kidney specialist on Monday and I guess he will tell me off for not keeping Ray's diet to exactly what he needs to have for a healthy life. The trouble is that at Daycare and other places he goes too many people offer him cake and chocolate biscuits and of course he is enjoying them and I seem the baddie when I say "No more Ray, you are a diabetic for heaven sake!"
I tell you honestly folks some people see me as an angel but when I look in the mirror all I see is a tired and weary past middle aged woman.