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The road ahead

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Written by nissalea Wednesday, 6 May 2009 11:48

Well here I am thinking all the kids are at school I can start my own life again. Not so! It will have to be delayed at least. Mother Duck (MIL) has come to stay for good. She has dementia undiagnosed as yet but lets face it you know it when you see it. Im so scared of the future with her and of failing her. Her children where going to put her in a nursing home but I just couldn’t do it so here she is with me. So far its not been so bad. Just the usual forgetfulness, for example asking if we can go get her magazines every 10 minutes when we already have them, things like that. Not wanting to shower which the other half tries to argue with her about. I don’t see the point in arguing she doesn’t smell yet ;)

We have just come home from Rockhampton cleaning her house out and getting the legal side of things done. Mother Duck is crying a lot about leaving home which is understandable after being there 57 years. She came to live with us willingly though as she is extremely lonely. Weird considering she's been on her own for 30 years (husband died).

I’ve just started researching the disease, making appointments and finding out what services there are in my area.

I know this is going to be a long arduous journey but I’m hoping its one I can stick through to the end.

This is the beginning of my journal about being a carer it will be interesting how it turns out.

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Comments from the community :

Nissalea, welcome to the Dementianet Diaries and the therapeutic value of blogging.

Taking in someone with dementia, even someone you are as close to as your mother-in-law is a big step. I'm glad you did it now while she is in the early stages and has the ability to understand at least a little of what is happening around her. Later on it will be harder.

A few of us manage to chat together in the chat room on this site. I am not usually there until after 10.30pm but if you can manage to put some time aside to do that it is another way of finding out how others cope with this wretched disease.

Start to get some help as soon as you are able to. Find out how to apply for respite, even if it is Daycare once a week or a carer a few hours a week to sit with her so you still have some freedom. I left it late in my looking after my mother and know now that if I had paced mysef more I wouldn't have been burned out as quickly.

Your family doctor may make some suggestions as to where you can find help and also how to find some support. I go to a dementia support group and find that invaluable. It is good to get help with dealing with all the things that will happen on a journey with dementia. I also find the advice which reflects the hands-on experience other carers is so valuable too.

Written by  suew, Friday, 8 May 2009 19:13

Hi Nissalea
Welcome to our place!! There is a lot to learn and a lot of resources - the best for me has been chatting on this site with others in same situation - so does not have to be a lonely road - just frustrating at times.
Contact the Alziehmers Association - I have a councellor coming to see me some waiting for him, to help clarify things - there is a lot of research going on - that is the road we have chosen for my hubby, for the time being as he has a differential diagnosis, although 2 out 3 say FTD which is more aggressive.
remember one day at a time - and important t be kind to yourself

Written by  Faye, Sunday, 10 May 2009 17:36

www.alzheimers.org.au/ Hi im ken try this site if have not already can print out all the imformation you need take care

Written by  Anonymous, Saturday, 16 May 2009 15:56