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trip away

A page in the diary "what stage are we at now"
Written by laurel Wednesday, 22 April 2009 02:49

Since last year I have been trying to go to Qld to see my older daughter and grandkids, as well as my sister and nieces.
I had to force Lawrie to go he kept on putting it off. Then I said I would go without him,so he finally agreed.
We drove up with me doing most of the driving, Lawrie has done this trip numerous times for me it was the first. I allowed Lawrie to give me directions, my sister rang to check how we were going and where we were. It turned out that we were going the wrong way and had missed our turn off. So we pulled over for the night, Lawrie asked numerous people for directions and then would have them repeat it to me as he could not remember what they had said. I was totally confused and lucky have a gps in my phone which gave me the directions. When we finally got on the right road I let Lawrie do some driving, he changed his glasses to sunglasses that he had not worn for years. It was not until night time that he realised that he had no idea where he had put his glasses.
while in Qld I found Lawrie was unable to communicate like he normally would and just stayed in the back ground like a shadow, even if we tried to get him involved. He only felt safe communcating with the grandkids.
At my sisters house he could not talk to her at all and then explained to my brother inlaw that he has dementia and finds it hard sometimes.
I find he sleeps a lot if he does too much the day before. You can be watching Tv and next thing he is asleep. If I wake him I get told off so now I leave him.
Next time I go to Qld I will be flying up and renting a car. The trip was good but could not stay long as Lawrie was anxious to get home.
Just sharing bye for now Laure

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Comments from the community :

Laurel, thanks for sharing the details of your trip. Ray is way beyond driving now. I do the same as you would with kids, pull up every two hours, have something to drink, go to the toilet etc. We have to be at our destination by four as he has "sundowners".

If we stay with someone I ask where I can use as a peaceful place for Ray, it might be a garden seat or a special chair that is "his" for the visit. That way he can go off on his own for a while and ignore what is going on around him.

Ray responds to overstimulation with confusion and grouchy behaviour so I slow the visit down to his level of coping, preferrably visits in the morning, a nap in the afternoon, an early night if he has been up all day. I know he will show signs of tiredness next day so it is sometimes an outing or visit every second day now.

Don't let this discourage you from future trips. You just need to remind those you are staying with that he has some problems with tiredness etc and have some strategies in place.

Sue.

Written by  suew, Wednesday, 22 April 2009 17:24