Feeling numb
A page in the diary ""
Written by kandi Sunday, 8 March 2009 23:43
It's been a while.......My fathers death has knocked me hard. It wasn't a relief....or he had a good innings......or it was his time! He was my father and my lifetime of memories. It makes no difference to his age or condition.
It's funny.....I don't remember the dementia now he is gone. I remember the man, the sensitivity, the caring, the childhood memories of feeling safe.
I feel for my mum. It was agonising for her.....for a month she looked for him each day, only to be reminded he was gone. How that must have tortured her, every day, discovering that the man you had been married to for 60 years was gone.
Mum is very sad every day. I am amazed she is here. Sometimes I wonder who is feeling worse. Me, seeing her torture or her deterioration.
In the past 6 months, I have been to three other funerals, dad's mates. It is sad to see an era going, but makes me realize more that I am part of carving the future.