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carer got sick

A page in the diary "the carer got sick - no help for them"
Written by Faye Thursday, 1 April 2010 21:53

Had a rough month, had a heart attack hit suddenly whilst on my own at the shops, still don't know how i made it to the Dr. Upshot was in hospital and had a stent put in, temporary measure, don't want by pass just yet Dr very understanding, but that where it all ends. My beloved hubby did not cope well and now will not let me out of his sight, he has finally given up work, which is a blessing and at the moment I am trying to create good memories for later, he is very forgetful now, and has trouble communicating, it is so sad as he has slipped so quickly, our hopes with the medical trail are all but gone now,and I live one day at a time, and pray for the strength to go on. My grandaughter asked me tonight why this has happened to her pop, and how come I am so strong, I did not tell her I cry most nights and grieve for what could have/would have been, instead I told her he just drew a short straw in life but that said we must be grateful for what pop and I have had, so many wonderful years, and an enduring friendship that helps to get me through this difficult gut wrenching time.
Life is a gift so precious we must embrace every moment and create memories for later to outwiegh the bad times ahead. God grant me the serenity...............

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Comments from the community :

Sory I missed you on chat tonight Faye, I was working on an essay and forgot to check back again. Silly really as I was thinking of you this evening and wondering if you would come on.

It sounds like life has been tough for you. It happens like that sometimes. You have been under tremendous stress so I guess the heart attack is the result of that. I hope it is fixed by the stent and you do not have to have more invasive surgery.

I don't have any advice for the road ahead. I just take one day at a time, try to enjoy the good days and forget the bad days if I can. Every day I get out of bed, put my feet on the ground and tell myself that "this day I will look after Ray.

For me after looking after Ray for so long with the stroke damage, Ray's vascular dementia is just an added burden. I plod on from day to day, doing some days better than others. It is so tiring and sometimes I get disheartened and wonder if life is unfair...it is, isn't it? None of us deserve this and having to be "strong" all the time sucks!

I feel so sorry for the dementia patients where Mum is, I see them in glimpses as people who once were strong and competent and in charge of their own lives and are now dependent and confused and somehow "hollow". But I see the care they recieve and know that somehow there is meaning in all of this.

Again, sorry I missed you.

Sue.

Written by  suew, Thursday, 1 April 2010 22:17

Faye, Sorry to hear that you had a heart attack. Life has given you the short end of the stick. Hope all is well and that your children are there for you.
Lawrie is slowly getting worse we are seening a new neurolist on the 24th of this month as the other has done nothing in the 2years that we have been going, our Dr is not impressed. Hopefully we will get an update as to were he is at.
I spend my time sewing when I am able and doing lessons to mix with other people, this helps keep me sane.
You need to relax more and hopefully you can. Hope this finds you well.
Cheers
Laurel

Written by  laurel, Thursday, 15 April 2010 01:42

Hi Faye

Just found your comments regrding my speech at the Alzheimers Conference last year - thank you for your comments!! We are still working away at providing better support for people living with younger onset dementia and their carers in Sydney and hopefully if we keep raising the issues someone in power will eventually get the message!! Stay strong - I have found the carers of people with younger onset dementia (I have worked with 16 in the last 3 years) are amazingly resillient.

Reagrds Alison

Written by  alisone, Friday, 18 June 2010 12:22