Loss of Personality and Emotions

In the past, people believed that the mental deterioration caused by dementia led to an emotional vacuum within the person. It was described as "the person losing their soul", or losing their personality. This is now viewed as inaccurate and outdated. To the contrary, the experience of most family members and professionals who are close to people suffering from dementia has been that they are very much alive. They experience joy, anger and sadness, just like the rest of us. They are in tune with their surroundings, and are affected by good and bad conditions and impulses.

However, there may be some people with dementia who, contrary to expectations, react and change so much that the people around them barely recognize them. For example, when a mother blames her daughter for stealing her purse (that she hid so well she cannot find it again). Or a spouse who in the past was nurturing and social, and who now is totally preoccupied with her own self and her health, and who does not seem to be aware of the world around her, or her husband. An elderly woman who is worried about her small children - or wants to go home to her mother - can be a concern to the people around her.

It is important to take the emotions of a person suffering from dementia seriously. Even if their emotional reactions seem completely inappropriate . The trick is to calm them down. For example, you can ask how the elderly woman took care of her children when they were small, or what her mother was like, what she valued. It is about giving life meaning, here and now - and to do that you can start with memories, and fantasies - and go from there.