Life Together and Sex

Sexuality in elderly people is often taboo. Nonetheless, a considerable proportion of elderly people have a normal sex life very late in life. The loss of a spouse will often be the thing that puts an end to sexual activity. For many people, mutual sexual interest means marital relations will continue to be a source of joy until late in life. Aspects other than orgasm become the important part of sexual relations as intimacy, tenderness and sensuality take over.

Sex life could continue until late in the course of a dementia. Sexual relations could be precisely the haven which, despite the dementia, still provides intimacy and tenderness in the couple’s relationship. The cognitive disorders may cause the demented person to not feel fulfilled and become unsure of themselves, so it may be difficult to consummate the sexual act.

Conversely, the other party may also become unsure; as it can be hard to conjoin the intimate feelings with their role as carer

In frontotemporal dementia there may be a particular problem with the inability to set boundaries or to be disinhibited in pursuing sexual relations. In such a situation, sexual relations may be strained.

• Keep the intimacy and sexual companionship as long as you both derive joy from it.
• Be accepting of your partner's nurturing. It may be hard for the person with dementia to display their affection because he or she has had to relinquish so many tasks and constantly accept help. That can cause confusion about their own identity.
• Keep adult contact and do not let the ‘sick role’ become dominant.
• Seek professional help from the doctor if help is needed to get through a difficult situation such as disinhibited demands from the  person with dementia.