Irritation, Anger and Powerlessness

Irritation, anger and powerlessness are fundamental feelings that surface naturally when we feel we have been treated unfairly. Anger and irritation are closely related and are the feelings that most commonly surface in relatives. For example, irritation when the person with dementia is not able to understand what is being said, or not being able to remember what he/she just asked about, may lead to anger. You feel powerless because you know that the disease is the cause of these symptoms.

Repetitive questions may irritate you. This symptom is not uncommon, especially if the person with dementia experiences deterioration or they are anxious e.g. something new is going to happen in the daily routine, or if there is an appointment they are worried about forgetting. 

Relatives/carers may feel that there is no solution to their daily frustrations. People become angry and may even scold the person, and feel terribly ashamed afterwards.

Remember:

• If you become angry, just remember that you are human. Often the person with dementia will forget the incident but be vigilant of your emotions and talk to someone about your anger if it is an ongoing problem. 
• Do not be embarrassed about your feelings, but try to understand explain why you become angry so you can deal with these issues.
• Information about dementia can help you achieve a greater tolerance and better control of your emotions.
• Use humour, it can lighten up a difficult situation.
• Take breaks and call in help from other relatives or respite organisations so you don’t burn out.
• Get support from others and from organisations such as Carers Australia.