Personality Changes

As a relative/carer you may notice the person with dementia undergo an apparent personality change. The changes can be great and hard to deal with; understandably so, but even small personality changes may surprise you.

The list below is not exhaustive, but provides insight into the most common personality changes. No-one develops all of them, but no-one avoids all of them.

Reduced initiative

Many people with dementia lose interest in their previous hobbies, which may not make sense to the people around them. From the outside it seems as though they have "shut down". It is particularly irritating to relatives when they see that the demented person can still perform many tasks at the day centre, for example, while they are impossible to motivate at home.

The causes of this are often the changes and damage to the brain, but you should also be aware that this symptom can also indicate they may be depressed. Try to ensure that they also get a little exercise every day. If they would like to pursue their hobbies, encourage and help them to do this. They may get a lot of pleasure out of doing simple tasks such as pasting cut out flowers on card etc.

Restlessness

Some people with dementia seem to be constantly on the move. This can be physically and emotionally exhausting. Carers and relatives may become tired from the constant activity that often does not lead to anything constructive. One example could be that the person with dementia insists on helping to clean up, but is not able to do so and ends up making a mess instead. Be aware that they may wander off on their own and they should be closely watched and if necessary home aids can be used to help prevent this.

It may be necessary to help get them to learn to relax. That can be done by setting some time aside to rest, perhaps several times a day. It could, for example, be sitting in a good chair, listening to some relaxing music and have some soothing tea.

Anxiety

People with dementia increasingly develop problems with understanding language and sensory perceptions, and that causes some of them to become increasingly anxious. Due to the anxiety, they worry incessantly and forget to enjoy life completely.

It is not easy to remove the anxiety and the worries because they feel their life is out of their control. The best thing you can do is to try to relieve them of some of the feelings of responsibility for example by reassuring him or her that everything is under control. If the anxiety becomes too overwhelming, medical treatment can be considered, including for the carer.

Mood Swings

Relatives/carers can be alarmed by the mood swings the person with dementia may suffer. One minute they are in a good mood, the next they are angry or really sad. This aggression may be verbal or physical and may be totally out of character for them. It is difficult for them (and for you) to cope with these mood swings and emotional outbursts.

In these situations, you should also be aware that there may be underlying depression. Talk with the doctor about it. Never try to argue or become defensive and angry with them, it is part of their illness and they cannot control this It is better to try to figure what is causes these mood swings, and then try to avoid these situations.

Apathy

It is not easy to deal with apathy and the emotional distance that comes from this apathy may leave the relative/carer feeling very alone and unimportant.

It is important to remember that the apathy is caused by the damage to the brain. A person who was once loving and attentive would not change so dramatically if it were not for the disease. They are probably aware that you are making a big effort, but are unable to express it any longer. In such a situation, it is really good to have friends and family to fill some of the emotional vacuum.