Helping the Person with Dementia

Help and support for the person with dementia will for the most part be provided by the immediate family. The type of help you can provide depends on whether you live with that person or not.

When someone will need help, whether this is the person with dementia or their carer,, will vary widely. The time when help and support is necessary depends on the position the abilities of the person with dementia e.g. their employment, the severity of the illness, and the progression of their disease.

Most people with dementia prefer to have help from their loved ones, and some refuse help from strangers. That is understandable, but it may mean that you become the only carer. Consequently, you risk burnout. This may not be feasible in the long term and it is important to discuss the role of homecare and enlist help from others. Find out about homecare as early as possible as there may be waiting lists for this.

Dementia is one of the few diseases where you know with certainty that the condition will deteriorate and that you will need help and support. It may be a good idea early on in the course to talk with your family about the future and make some arrangements. Even though nobody can predict precisely how your relative's situation will progress, many families have benefited from talking about the future. The topics can range widely e.g. picking out clothes, drivers license, housing finances, etc. It comes as a surprise to many relatives that dementia has a fairly rapid and negative impact on the tasks and functions that make normal everyday life easy.

When you help another person, it is important to provide the help that the person feels they need. It may be very different from what you, as the helper, feel is important. When providing help to someone with dementia, you are also up against the disease itself, as judgement and understanding of the disease are impaired. The person with dementia may lack insight and often does not believe that he/she needs help.