Openness versus Isolation

The progress of dementia varies individually, and the condition can change daily. Some days are good, others are not. Therefore, it can be difficult to tell others how you are doing. It is easy to be misunderstood. However, that should not stop you from doing what is best for you and your family.

Some people will feel ashamed to have lost some of their mental abilities. But REMEMBER you should never be embarrassed to be ill. You are entitled to understanding and help from the people around you.

Being open about your disease has advantages such as:

• You do not have to fake being "well".
• You can be yourself.
• You can explain what is hard to talk about.
• You can say yes or no.
• You can ask people for help and people will know why.
• You will naturally get support from your family and good friends.
• Friendships and family ties will be strengthened.
• You will dispel rumours from developing.

Being open about your disease has some disadvantages such as:

• Not everyone believes you.
• Some people do not understand how hard it can be.
• You can see friends and family members distancing themselves from you because they do not know how to react to the news.
• Some people make too much of a fuss.
• Some people believe you are unable to do anything at all.

Some people choose to hide the disease for a while to have some time to grasp what the diagnosis means for their life. The important thing is for you and your family to be in agreement so you can feel supported.

In general, being open has the most advantages. By being open about your disease, you do not have to live with the fear of being exposed. It is tiring to try to be like before, and that can inhibit you from being natural and relaxed in the company of others. It is very stressful to be something or someone you are not.

The fear that your family and friends will not understand the disease is unfounded in most cases. The majority will sympathize with you and your family and friends will support you. You and your family will need your social network. If some people do distance themselves from you, then they might not have been as good a friend as you thought. The saying "a friend in need is a friend indeed" still holds true.