Mailbox Response

The question was submitted 27/07/2007

Subject: my father driving and the blame that goes with it

my father has finally been diagosed with dementia, and i am not sure what stage he is at. I think it is early and we can still keep him at home and he has not loss it totally yet. I find it hard coping with the mental side of things meaning that one day (at the moment) he is "ok" go up the next day and he is away with the fairies, which i find hard. sorry i am not asking my question which is - how do i cope with the 'blame' from him towards me for him not been allowed to drive because of this dementia. i feel that he does not believe that he has dementia or does not remember what the doctor told him. he only seems to pick up on the things that he wants to, is this normal? are there things that i can read up on concerning this.
thank you

Answer from DementiaNet

Whilst there can be many challenging moments associated with looking after a person with Alzheimer's disease, the issue of driving is one of the greater one. Frequently the person does not recognize that their driving skills are impaired and no amount of reasoning seems to be effective.

I feel it is important for a health professional to take the responsibility of telling the person they cannot drive, particularly if it is based on sound reasons. For example, if a person has been driving dangerously, carelessly or having accidents. This way the family members who have to live and deal with the day-to-day issues of Alzheimer's disease can at least be spared this added burden.

In the situation such as you have described then one of the strategies I suggest is getting an independent on road driving assessment performed. Whilst this can cost some money it can actually provide a fair and independent assessment as well as providing conclusive proof to the person about the outcome.

Sometimes in these driving assessments the person may be found to be reasonably safe and maybe given a restricted license. For example, they may be allowed to drive in their local neighbourhood but only in the daytime provided someone is in that the car.

Occupational therapists are the ones who frequently conduct these assessments either in the private or public setting. If you were to ring your local aged care service they should be able to give you direction to who might better perform such an assessment.

The answer was published on DementiaNet 03/08/2007