Mailbox Response

The question was submitted 14/06/2007

Subject: advice

The father of my 5 year old son has alzheimers he is 43. His family believe it is good for our son to watch his father grow with this disease. We are not together. The question is .... Is it really good for him to watch his father go downhill or should i stop contact when i feel the time is right.

Answer from DementiaNet

One assumes that you are the boy’s step-father. This is a complex situation and the individual family dynamics will dictate what is best to do. If the boy is five years old he will not be able to understand why his father’s behaviour and ability is deteriorating. However, observing the decline may not necessarily be bad for him. Children are remarkably resilient and accepting of many difficult situations. The boy may desire continued contact with his father. In addition, his father should not be denied having the company of his son if there is still a loving relationship and he recognises his son. The relationship may well still provide quality of life for his father. As mentioned above it is not really possible to give generic advice in a situation like this. You should seek advice from the doctors involved (GP and Specialist) and especially a clinical psychologist or social worker if possible.

The answer was published on DementiaNet 11/07/2007