Mailbox Response
The question was submitted
16/10/2008
Subject: second case of alzheimer's in family
My father passed away a year ago after suffering Alzheimer's disease for about 8 years. Now, my mother has also been diagnosed with Alzheimer's and is well into the second stage. Putting my father in a nursing home was horrible and I am still guilt ridden and I just can't bring myself to do the same with my mother even though I am exhausted after 4 years of caring. I also have a growing fear of getting the disease myself as both my parents have had it. I don't think I could put my husband and children through the pain that comes with caring. I am in a tortuous holding pattern where I can't seem to help my mother or myself.
By the way I consider myself practical and not a matyr.
Answer from DementiaNet
Unfortunately there are periods in the natural progression of Alzheimer’s disease where there seems little hope of a good outcome. As caregivers become more stressed, their ability to care for the person with AD diminishes. As a result, there are negative affects for the patient. The health system recognises this fact and funds organisation like the Alzheimer’s association to provide help. In addition, the government funds residential care to provide respite and permanent care. This is based on the fact that having a sick carer means the health system has to look after two patients not one. So it may be that you will suffer more by not utilising these services for your mother. Both ways, AD is distressing and emotionally draining, but you deserve to preserve you own health and sanity. So if you are a practical person you will realise that there may come a time soon when you have to put Mum into care. There comes a time when one person cannot continue to give this much care.
Because both your parents have or had AD you do have a slightly greater risk of suffering the disease. Thankfully we are now aware of potentially powerful ways to reduce risk for people in your age group. These include; regular physical activity, avoidance of smoking and excess alcohol intake, control of high blood pressure and treatment of depression. You should talk to you GP about this.
Finally, don’t assume that if you get the disease that your family will suffer as you have. There is a good chance that in the next few years better treatments will be available to control the condition and help for carers will be better too.
The answer was published on DementiaNet
17/10/2008