Read diary

stupidly I brought Ray home today

A page in the diary ""
Written by suew 3. Sep 2008 12:38 AM

I brought Ray home from hospital today. I was so looking forward to it as I really missed him. But there is a big difference between missing someone and being able to live with them isn't there?

Ray was finally diagnosed with a form of kidney disease that results in too few red blood cells being produced. That acoounted for his chronic anaemia and was the reason he was so weak and collapsed before he went to hospital. The chest infection was just a complicating factor.

This evening he had an "accident" and made a mess for me to clear up. He had said proudly that he had gone all week without one and then had only been home a few hours when it happened. I wonder why it happens like that? Is it because he feels relaxed and it just happens?

He also scratched his left "bad" leg and made it bleed ( blood thinners) and then managed to scratch the back of the right leg too and set that bleeding as well. Another "clean up" as he had already gone to bed. I also cut his toe nails as he said they were the cause.

Before I left the hospital with him today both the nurse on duty in his ward and the social worker sent to get me to fill in some paperwork asked me if I was doing the right thing by taking him home. Of course I answsered "yes" and assured them I could cope. Silly me.

« Prev page | Next page »

Comments from the community:

In just 48 hours we have had a bit of everything, incontinence, vomitting, confusion, messed bed etc. I am hoping this is just an adjustment and tomorrow will be better. I have to thicken all of ray's drinks now, another thing to do.

I took Ray to the docotor today and he was appallled by the new diagnosis and a little shocked that it had not been picked up before. He wants a report from each of the specialists before he makes further decisions. I can't say I blame him for that, better an informed decision than a hasty one.

It is very hard I know to adjust back to being a carer for me, and not having a dozen or so carers for Ray. I am very on edge and it is a strain, knowing that I am responsible for him night and day. Today his shower nurse remarked on how unsteady he is on his feet now. And said he will make a note of it for future carers as he will be away for the next two weeks.

I don't think I have made the right decision bringing him home but only time will tell.

Written by suew, 4. Sep 2008 05:57 PM

Hi Sue,

Your bound to be out of sync as your faced with more now than you were before Ray was hospitalised. Sue you are doing your utmost in giving Ray the very best care you can and his needs will now be increasing.

I admire your courage taking on this challenging role all you can do is give it your best shot. Don't be so hard on yourself your not stupid at all. At least by trying you'll know if you can or can't cope with Ray.... that's all one can expect of themselves.

Your made a very big ask of yourself but remember it's not set in stone. Handing Ray's care over doesn't mean your failed....it means you are strong enough to recognise and let go.

I wish you all the strength and fortitude needed.

Take Care,
Kathy.

Written by kathryn, 6. Sep 2008 03:14 PM

About Dementia	Help with Dementia	Help for Relatives	Society	DementiaNet Community	My Universe