settling into 2008
A page in the diary ""
Written by suew 4. Jan 2008 04:22 PM
Here it is, four days into 2008 and I am feeling comfortable, the hard work leading up to Christmas and New Year is over and I can settle down and enjoy summer. Things like going to a friend's place and enjoying her pool for an hour yesterday afternoon. She let Ray sleep on her lounge while I was in the pool so that was a real treat for me. And as we had afternoon tea while Ray was asleep she gave me some scones to bring home, Ray was REALLY pleased about that!
It is getting harder to handle Ray, no use kidding myself about that. Ray has just started on Flomax extra for his water problems, another tablet to give out in the mormning, this one we have to pay full price for. I guess it may be a while before we notice the difference. Ray is so tired a lot of the time now, and also weaker walking. I know it is not because he doesn't exercise, or make an effort or any reason I can think of, it just seems to be something that is happening to him, cause unknown. Maybe he is having little seizures in his sleep is one of the doctor's theories. I just know it is really frustrating for him and more difficult for me.
January is going to be reading month for me. We have a few appointments already and our daughter and family will be here for a few days mid-month but I am going to try to take things easy for a while for my sake as well as Ray's. It is a necessity for me to feel rested. The run-up to Christmas is always busy and now it is summer, the time friends drop in or invite you over, so I will accept the invitations that I think we can cope with. I can't afford to turn any down without reason. I really need to keep those friends who are still happy to be in our company.
I know I am lucky that I can still have Ray at home with me. I know there will come a time when this is not possible but I want to put that off for as long as possible. For those of you who have placed a loved one I know how that is as I still have my Mum, now 89, in a Dementia Lodge. I vist her twice a week but it is not like she is constantly with me or I am able to visit everyday. But I know that she is better cared for where she is than if she was here and I was struggling to look after her and Ray also.
My one New Year's resolution is to try not to worry as much. I think one of the secrets of happiness is enjoying whatever it is you are doing. I watched my dear old Mum today as she walked in the little courtyard in the middle of the enclosed lodge where she lives. She looked at the flowers in the garden and smiled, she sat down on the couch in one of the little sitting rooms and fell asleep, she got up and walked around the corridor and settled into a chair in the dining room. None of it seemed an effort, all of it seemed to be just part of her life. I hope it is not necessary to lose our minds in order to get the contentment that just comes from living and being and moving through life as if you belong there. I love my Mum and I know that I won't have her for much longer so appreciate the time I am able to spend with her.
So settle in and enjoy your life day by day, substitute good dreams for the nightmares, worry less, love more. We only pass this way once, might as well enjoy the journey.