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a quieter life

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Written by suew 23. Dec 2007 03:50 PM

I have been without a computer for more than a week but as I have been busy with the pre-Christmas preparations it hasn't been too bad. But soon the loneliness will appear again. I find that after Christmas with all the organisations and support structures we belong to closed for the break it can be quite lonely.

With Ray not being much of a talker other company is essential for me to feel included in society. So it is time to start ringing around to find someone to meet us at the shopping centre or in a park for a cuppa and chat. With Ray's dementia becoming more obvious now the list of people who want to share activities with us is getting smaller.

This weekend we had our grand daughter visit. This allows me to act like a kid myself. We "danced" to music, did some colouring in, blew bubbles etc. Although Ray no longer likes noise he will accept one child being around as long as we give him space.

I can see our life is becoming quieter now to accomodate his wishes. It is not my choice of how to live but for the sake of peace and sanity it is how we have to live for now. I am by nature outgoing and very sociable so it is a strain to cut back on our outside activities.

I have been glad I go to a dementia support group where subjects like this can be aired. I would also like others to share their experiences with me here on how to cope when life starts to close in. I know this will not last forever but sometimes life stretches ahead with not a lot of joys to look forward to.

I would like to wish all who take the time to read this a happy Christmas Season and many blessings in the New Year. Thanks to all who have been part of the long stroke/dementia journey with me. We all need help and support to maintain the courage and strength to look after our loved ones so may that be a part off 2008 for you too.

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Comments from the community:

I know what you mean about the loneliness. I find Christmas really hard. Everyone is gathering with family and having a fun time. My family has dwindled to mum and I, and a stark realisation that next year it may just be me.

My partner has gone interstate to be with his family and my nephews, who for months having been coming for Christmas lunch, kindly informed me today they won't be coming.

I'm going to bring mum home to stay on Christmas eve and hope with all my might that she doesn't get too agitated and we can enjoy the time together. But I can't bear the thought of her waking up in the hostel on Christmas morning without her family, and me waking up on Christmas morning without mine.

And you're right, these bad stretches do pass, but never quickly enough. How do I cope? I cry. Then I try to think of how lucky I am in comparison to lots of other people in the world.

Thanks for your support over the last year Sue. I hope you have a Happy Christmas.

I'll try to catch you in chat when the silly season is over.

Written by Carey, 23. Dec 2007 06:57 PM

Hi Sue

I was just reading your entry as well as Carey's response and my heart goes out to you both. I understand how lucky I am to still have so many people around me and the chance to go to work and spend time around other people when I can. I feel restricted at times but I reaslise that I have nothing to complain about.
Sue while your lifeline to the outside world, the computer, is down please feel free to contact me by phone anytime you just want to chat and Carey,I am always available to you via e-mail or messenger.
I would love to be there for you when ever you just need to contact someone different.
Sue, you were the first person I spoke to on dementianet and you opened up this whole world of beautiful people and greater understanding of our loved ones with dementia. The are a great support to me.Carey you have been a great support to me and your friendship means a lot to me.

Whever you are feeling lonely please think of me who is constantly sending you hugs of support. Always know that someone is thinking of you and appreciating who you are.

Written by leslie, 23. Dec 2007 11:06 PM

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