Read diary

I'm so naive

A page in the diary ""
Written by Carey 20. Nov 2007 10:23 PM

I thought that when my mum went into a care facilty that alot of my worries and concerns would go. I'm just realising that they have haven't gone, they've just changed to become different worries and concerns.

Now I worry about whether the staff treat her well and speak to her nicely; when she has a fall, how long does it take for them to find her; are they helping her shower and get dressed in the morning; do they clean her dentures; do they try and distract her when she becomes distressed and agitated; do they speak to her with respect or like a little child; do they watch out for her when she's unsteady on her feet; do they take extra care when the weather is hot.

I guess it doesn't matter where your loved one is, you will continue to worry.

« Prev page | Next page »

Comments from the community:

Dear Carey,

My mum went into care last May and I share the same thoughts and worry. In all honesty in my case it is because I don't see what I expected I would. I think I was really taken in by the "Glossy Brochures".

Your so right it is a different caring role and one that just brings a whole lot of different concerns. My only advice to you is, just be vigilante and don't turn your back on something that matters to you, speak out we are their only voice.

I seen this written once so I'll share it with you. I have it where I can remind myself daily.

Worry is like a rocking chair

it gives you something to do,

but it doesn't get you anywhere.

Caring Thoughts Kathryn.

Written by kathryn, 22. Nov 2007 06:14 PM

Hi Carey

I can understand your concern but can only give the advice of what I do myself. Give your Mum and her room a thorough look-over every time you go to see her. Is she clean? Is her hair combed and her breath sweet? Does she have bruising etc? Then look at her room. Does the room look clean? Are her clothes neatly put away? Does the shower/bathroom look clean and smell fresh? If the answer is no to any of the above seek answers from staff members.

Mum has been in care for five and a half years now. I visit her twice a week and occassionally just "pop in" on another day. Each time she is dressed in odd clothes or looks as if her hair needs combing,washing etc I make a comment. I also make a point of speaking to the RN about her medical conditions and to the girls who look after her clothes etc. I also compliment them when she looks nice.

I think you can ckeck she is doing well by her appearance, skin condition etc and also by asking the right people the right questions. The care is never going to be as good as the one-to-one we can provide but to save our sanity it is the next best thing.

Written by suew, 23. Nov 2007 04:41 PM

About Dementia	Help with Dementia	Help for Relatives	Society	DementiaNet Community	My Universe