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Written by martinh 28. May 2008 02:25 PM

I don't want to get dragged down with my partner's Alzheimer's. To be an effective carer, a loving partner, I need to look after myself. This may sound horrid, unfaithful, but I do seek the company of another woman, someone who understands the situation. It's a sort of clandestine situation, but without the loss of total loyalty to my partner. She needs me completely, and I in return. With respect that need is at quite a different emotional level than one with someone without the disease.

As a young couple we promised to each other we would not let ourselves live in a vegetative state. In other words the question of euthanasia could stare me in the face in the not too distant future. I have always wanted that for myself, but to contemplate it for my partner is very hard to face, even though that's what she wants should the need arise.

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Comments from the community:

Martin, this is a dementia support site NOT a dating agency.

Written by suew, 30. May 2008 03:44 AM

Sorry, that probably sounded a little harsh.

We do still want to support you as you care for your partner with dementia.

Sue.

Written by suew, 31. May 2008 01:01 AM

MARTIN

Euthanasia is something I have been discussing only this weekend.
My mum has alzheimers and dad has dementia. My mum stipulated she does not want to to live if she ever had alzheimers. I can not imagine how it is to look after a partner with this disease. My heart goes out to you and the other wonderful carers of partners on this site.

Written by kandi, 1. Jun 2008 11:45 PM

Martin,
I fully support euthanasia,Iwould never want to live in a world so dependent on my family,I care for my 80 year dad,and I remember him saying many many years ago if ever,I lost my mind I would rather die then be a burden
to the family,I also looked after my late mother who suffered with many medical problems she quite often would say to me if I was an animal they would have put me down long ago which is true.Please do not feel bad about wanting more in life just do your best with what you have and always remember here on Dementia net we are
on here for reason,and that reason is to connect with others and to be able to get things of our chest.
Keep up the good work,and don't feel at all guilty for reaching out,take care.
CHEZ.

Written by Anonymous, 2. Jun 2008 03:24 PM

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