53rd Wedding Anniversary
A page in the diary ""
Written by kate 9. Apr 2008 03:30 PM
I picked up my Dad today and took him to see my Mum. It was their 53rd wedding anniversary today. My Dad was very anxious, as he always is, even after nearly 3 monthsof Mum being in care. I think part of him is scared and thinks she will be angry with him. (It's hard, I think, for him to believe that she really is not angry with him about being placed into care.) Or maybe he was scared because he was seeing his wife on their anniversary and he knew that she wouldn't know and wouldn't be able to celebrate all their years together.
When I asked my Dad, "What would you like to do?". He said, "I would like to get back home as soon as possible." Neither of them could tell me how they wanted to spend time, or what they wanted to do. I took them down to the creek nearby where Mum lives. It is a beautiful place. They walked along the path holding hands. After maybe 10 minutes Mum said, "I think we should go back." When we go back to the car I asked them if they wanted to go for a coffee. They both said "NO!" at the same time. So I drove Mum back to the nursing home.
Whenever Dad says goodbye to her he waits as the doors close and they kiss through the glass. Today he had to bang on the door to remind her that he was waiting. They kissed through the glass and Mum wandered off. Dad cried.
I know there are many sad things and many losses and much grief for all who love someone with dementia.
This anniversary was a sad day for me. I wish things were different.
My brother organsied a big party for them 3 years ago for their 50th anniversary. All their friends and family were there. That day was full of people and talk, laughter and excitment. Last year they were in Malaysia for a holiday to celebrate their 52nd anniversary. Today a ten minute walk was almost too much for both of them.
I try to enjoy the things I can. The sky, the trees, the creek flowing by and the smiles of my mum when she understands that I'm joking. "We'll get Dad fit yet." I said to her - and she smiled.